ACCOMODATING ONE’S SHORTCOMINGS
The Key to Contentment and Progress
A CERTAIN individual reached old age and was still unmarried. When asked his reason for remaining a bachelor, he said that he had always been looking for a perfect spouse. “But in all this time, did you not find one?” he was asked. “Once I did,” he replied, “but unfortunately she was looking for a perfect spouse too, and I did not come up to the required standard.”
Generally, people acquire expertise at detecting the faults of others. That is why they become inept in getting along with others. If they were to seek out their own faults instead of those of others, they would realize that they were in the same position as they found others to be in. Awareness of one’s shortcomings makes for a spirit of humility in individuals and unity in society. On the other hand, if someone sees only the faults of others, he will become arrogant, and at odds with others.
It is a fact that no single person can be an amalgam of all good qualities. As there are many shades of grey between black and white, so are there many gradations of good and evil in ordinary human beings. While few are saints, few also are the outright villains of this life, and many people are combinations of different qualities and defects than one can find in any given individual. It is no simple matter to label a person unequivocally good or categorically bad. If there is to be harmony within a community, the dark sides of its members must be tolerated while their good sides are appreciated. In this way, no talent will be lost in society, and fellow feeling will prevail. This principle should be remembered in all relationships. Man and wife, employer and employee, businessman and partner–all need to bear it in mind. If we want to pluck “flowers”, we have also to bear the “thorns” that come with them. One who cannot put up with thorns will never be able to possess the flowers of life.
If we want to pluck “flowers”, we have also to bear the “thorns” that come with them. One who cannot put up with thorns will never be able to possess the flowers of life.
There are few great tasks which can be accomplished by individuals single-handedly. Only the talents of several individuals combined can achieve any substantial work. Just as it is true in commercial and political spheres, so is it true of religious work. But irrespective of whichever field the work is going on in, people will be able to work together only if they are patient and tender-hearted in their outlook.
They will have to bear with one another, putting ill-feeling behind them, and not become alienated towards one another over petty issues. It is good to be an idealist, but if someone eternally seeks the ideal in people, he is bound to be disappointed. The only way to be able to work with others, then, is to overlook the fact that they do not match up to our ideal standard, and to extend moral support to those who seem the most deficient.
Converting revenge
into forgiveness and
anger into equanimity
is the highest form of
spirituality