THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS

Pampering or Hammering

ACCORDING to a Hadith, which deals with parenting of children, the Prophet said: “There is no better and superior gift that a father can give to his children than cultivation of good morals.” (Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

In this Hadith, by ‘good morals’ is meant the best way of leading life. It is about how one’s children should live in this world so that when they have grown up they can be truly successful and be an asset to their family and society, instead of becoming a liability.

If parents pamper their children, they give them the worst possible gift. But if they teach them the way to lead a successful life and prepare them for that, they give them the best possible gift. For instance, they should raise them not to complain about others and to always look for where they themselves may have made a mistake or gone wrong and rectify it. They should nurture them in such a way that they develop modesty, not pride or a superiority complex. They should help their children to take responsibility for their mistakes, rather than holding others responsible. They should teach them to spend their energy and time in useful activities.


If parents pamper their children, they give them the worst possible gift. But if they teach them the way to lead a successful life and prepare them for that, they give them the best possible gift.

Parents must help their children learn that if they do something wrong, they themselves must pay for it and that no one else can do that. Children must learn that they must not complain about others and that doing so is simply a waste of one’s time. They must learn to think positively and save themselves completely from negative thinking. They must abstain from bad habits. Moreover, parents should make their children duty-conscious, not rights-conscious.