SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL LIFE
Qualities Required
BUILDING one’s life is not like setting up a child’s play house, which can be put together in a matter of hours. It is a matter of putting down roots and toiling patiently ever upwards.
Man is in constant need of guidance, and God’s ways of guiding him are manifold. Everywhere in the world of nature around us He has set His signs for us to read.
There is the creeper which, in a mere matter of months, grows, spreads, bears its flowers and its fruits, and then dies. It is a thing of beauty, a source of nourishment, and, as such, is a joy to man. But it does not last forever, and when it dies, it so withers away that it might never have existed. There is no sign of it left. In contrast is the tall fruit-bearing tree, slow of growth, taking even centuries, and never failing to provide man with its shade, its flowers, and its luscious fruits.
Man is in constant need of guidance, and God’s ways of guiding him are manifold.
These examples are God’s silent messages to us; they are His way of guiding us towards the right course of action in life and steering us away from what will ultimately lead us to failure.
When it comes to the building of a whole nation, we should not attempt to spread fast like the creeper in the hope of quick results. Instead, we should emulate the tree, which may take years of anxious waiting to grow to maturity, but which sends down its roots deep into the soil (there is as much of the tree below as above the ground) and which endures the ravages of the seasons and the passage of generations. A nation, therefore, should grow with this same steadfastness and stability, for expansion without these qualities is like building a house without foundations.
What applies to the nation applies equally to individual human lives. If you want to live your life meaningfully and develop a structure and constitution that is solid and long lasting, you will have to be like the tree — patient and willing to engage in hard work.
In this process of building one's life, one needs to develop the attitude of being realistic; to stay calm and composed and learn to conquer oneself. Let us understand these with the help of the following examples.
Realism
If you happen to be in an open field when it starts to rain, you hasten to
find shelter. This is not cowardice. This is realism. Similarly, when there
is an earthquake, you immediately rush out from your home and look
for an open space. This, too, is not defeatism, but an acknowledgement
of the reality of nature. Where some difficulty arises between man and
nature, the solution to the problem lies only in acknowledgment of the
issue, and not in confrontation with it.
If you want to live your life meaningfully and develop a structure and constitution that is solid and long lasting, you will have to be like the tree — patient and willing to engage in hard work.
The system of rains and earthquakes is part of the scheme of God. Man cannot change this. Man only has it in his power to devise strategies to save himself from their harm. The only way to do so is to adopt the principle of avoidance and thereby save yourself from trouble. That is why in heavy rain, you head for a sheltered place, while during an earthquake, you rush into an open space.
Patience and avoidance are not signs of cowardice or a defeatist mentality. They are simply realistic approaches. This is necessary because the Creator has given man freedom for the purpose of putting him to the test. Man sometimes makes the right, and sometimes the wrong, use of his freedom. Even if you start fighting everyone, you cannot snatch away their freedom, because this freedom is given to them by the very Creator of the universe. Efforts to deprive others of their freedom are futile and will result only in your own suffering.
In such a state of affairs, there is only one possible sensible response. And that is known as patience. That is, even when faced with bitterness and unpleasantness from others, you must continue your life’s journey by avoiding getting embroiled in reaction and conflict.
You should never feel that it is only up to others to practice patience and avoid friction. Patience and avoidance of strife are the social duties of everyone without exception. It should never be forgotten that while patience makes it possible to continue with life’s journey, impatience will ultimately prevent you from reaching your chosen destination.
Staying Calm
The most delicate and dangerous part of space journeys is the point at
which the spacecraft returns into the earth’s atmosphere. Take the case
of the Apollo-8 spacecraft, for instance. Before the capsule touched
down on December 27, 1968, it had to negotiate a precipitous return to
the earth’s atmosphere. Because of the earth’s gravity — seven times
that of outer space — the speed of the spacecraft soared, reaching an
astronomical 39,000 kilometres per hour. Because of its extraordinary
speed, the heat of the spacecraft rose to terrifying proportions. Air
friction had started heating up the space vessel as soon as it entered
the earth’s atmosphere. Soon, it became literally ‘red hot’, reaching a
temperature of 3,300 degrees Celsius.
No animal can survive at such a temperature. How was it, then, that the three American astronauts aboard the craft were able to remain unaffected by the blazing inferno that had built up around them and return safely to earth? The reason that they were able to do so was that the spacecraft in which they were travelling had been so constructed that its interior would not be affected by the severity of external conditions. In spite of the incredible heat on the outside, the temperature inside of the craft was just 21 degrees Celsius. Imagine! 3,300 degrees on the outside and 21 degrees inside!
Patience and avoidance are not signs of cowardice or a defeatist mentality. They are simply realistic approaches.
This event from the realm of space travel has an important lesson to teach us for our lives here on earth. Time and time again, we run into highly charged situations in life, when it seems impossible to go on. There is only one way to survive under such conditions. And that is, by not letting ourselves be inwardly affected by one’s outward situation; by suppressing our emotions and keeping our feelings under control. Only then will we be able to maintain our composure. We will not be able to survive crises in life if we let our inward condition become as highly charged as the outward situation that we are confronted with.
If you remain inwardly calm and composed at all times, you will be able to survive the heat of any external circumstances, and then you can safely reach your destination. If you face someone’s hate and anger, you must not let it get under your skin. Instead, you should try to feel forgiveness in the depth of your heart. Even if the whole world wishes you evil, you should still have only good feelings for others. There is no other way of succeeding in life. If, on the other hand, you adopt the same negative feelings as prevail in your outside environment, the challenges of life are sure to be more than you can bear.
Conquering Oneself
Edmund Hillary, born on July 2, 1919, in Auckland, New Zealand, showed
an early interest in mountaineering. He started by climbing mountains
in his own country, and later, in 1951, attempted, along with a team, to
scale the heights of Mount Everest, a 29,028 foot high peak in Nepal.
This attempt was not successful. Then, for the second time, in 1953, he
again set out to climb it with a British team. His guide in this venture
was a Nepali, Tenzing Norgay. Reaching the summit of Mount Everest
on May 29, 1953, he became the first person to set foot on the highest
point of the globe. He immediately became famous all over the world,
and received a knighthood on July 16 of the same year.
We will not be able to survive crises in life if we let our inward condition become as highly charged as the outward situation that we are confronted with.
He subsequently wrote a book on this mountaineering exploit, published in 1955 under the title, High Adventure. One of the lessons of this book is: “It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” This sounds very simple, but it is a remark of great profundity. It would be true to say that every victory in this world is the result of conquering one’s own self. Each conquest necessarily entails a hard struggle. But, first and foremost, the aspirant to success must prove himself equal to that initial struggle, and then he must show his unflagging determination to reach his ultimate goal. Only then will the world acclaim him as a conqueror.
Be it mountaineering or any other exploit, man has first to pass the test of a hard struggle. He must then prove that he is capable of exercising patience and restraint. The day a man furnishes proof of this ability is the day that he will stand victorious on the highest pinnacle of success for the world to see.
Perseverance
Waking up in the morning to the noisy chirruping of the birds a man
noticed a broken egg lying on the ground. It had obviously fallen from
a nest built by sparrows just under the ceiling of his modest dwelling.
Wearily, he removed the broken egg. Then noting with disgust, the
straw which had littered his floor, he stood up on a chair and swiped
the nest out of its niche. After that, he spent quite some time and effort
cleaning up the whole place.
In all circumstances, persevere steadfastly in constructive activities. In the end, you will emerge victorious.
The very next day, he found more straw dirtying his newly-cleaned floor! Looking up, he saw that the birds were again building their nest under his roof. He felt he was going to go mad with their chirruping and the perpetual mess they made! So, he destroyed the new nest before it was even half-completed. That way he thought he could drive them away forever.
But the tragedy of the devastated nest only spurred the birds on to greater efforts. Showing great daring, they worked faster than ever. They did not waste a single moment on lamenting their loss. Nor did they go away to collect a whole flock of birds to come and make a united attack on the house-owner. They simply flew to and from the home, quietly and incessantly picking up fresh straw and fixing it in position. They did not waste a single moment.
This very same story was repeated from day to day, for over a month. The man would angrily destroy their home, and moments later, the sparrows would reappear with straw in their beaks to begin their labour all over again. Their efforts seemed fruitless. Their incessant gathering of straw was apparently futile. But regardless of consequences, they went on steadily with their work. It was the birds’ answer to the unmitigated hatred of the man. Yet, although he was the stronger, they always seemed somehow to foil him.
Finally, the birds’ silent endeavours gained the upper hand. The man realized that his resistance was futile, and he stopped destroying the nests. And so, the birds completed their nest and successfully laid and hatched their eggs. Their chirruping no longer incensed the man. He simply ceased to mind them, for they had taught him a priceless lesson — never to hate anyone.
In all circumstances, persevere steadfastly in constructive activities. In the end, you will emerge victorious.
Positivity
The owner of a transport business once found himself in a weak and
vulnerable position because, for technical reasons, he once had one
of his vehicles registered in the name of another person several years
before, and that person still held its licence. The licence-holder decided
one fine day that he would take possession of the vehicle himself and
that its real owner would have to make do with a paltry sum of money
in exchange. The owner naturally felt that the most dreadful injustice
was being done to him. Greatly incensed, he was determined to have
his revenge. Night and day he lived in frenzy, thinking of ways and
means to eliminate his enemy.
Efforts to deprive others of their freedom are futile and will result only in your own suffering.
For six long months, he lived in this state of morbid preoccupation, losing all interest in his home and his business, and becoming, finally, like the ghost of his former self. Then, one day, he had an experience which changed the course of his life. As he was pacing up and down a street, lost in black, vengeful fantasies, he heard the unmistakable sounds of someone making a speech before a large gathering. Curious, and for once drawn out of himself, he approached the gathering of people and began to listen to the speaker. He was suddenly struck by what the man was saying: “Think well before taking revenge, for you, too, shall suffer the vengeance of others!”
It was as if a shaft of bright light had suddenly penetrated his mind. With each example that the speaker gave to drive home his point, he felt himself turning into a new person. He decided, there and then, to give up his negative way of thinking, in fact to forget the whole sorry episode, and to devote his time and energy to his family and his business.
The full realization had come to him that it was on himself that he had inflicted suffering, not on his enemy, and that it was best to leave such matters to God. In beginning to think in this way, he found that, bit by bit, he was once again able to take a constructive approach to things. Not much long after, he became more successful than he had ever been. In pursuing positive ends he had also attained peace of mind — and that, for him, had been the most important thing of all.
Flexibility
A man once came into a shop, intent on buying some cloth. Choosing
a suitable piece was no problem, but fixing a price was; for in some
countries one usually has to bargain before buying anything. This time,
the bargaining was tough. Neither the shopkeeper nor the customer
was willing to budge from the originally quoted price. Finally, after
holding out adamantly for half-an-hour, it was the shopkeeper who
gave in, coming right down to the customer’s price, thus clinching
the deal.
A friend of the shopkeeper was in the shop at the time. After the customer had left, he asked, “Why waste so much time over the price, when you were ready to give it at the customer’s price all along?” “You missed the point,” the shopkeeper replied. “That was my way of clinching the deal. Why, if I had agreed to the customer’s price straightway, he would have thought, ‘Oh, I might be able to get the cloth even cheaper somewhere else’, and gone away. Anyway, I wanted to know how far he was willing to go. When I realized that he was not willing to budge even an inch, I saw that I was the one who would have to budge. And so, I sold him the cloth at his price!”
Adjustment or adjustability is the key to success in life, both for individuals and for nations.
So it is with any contest in life. Quite naturally, each party wishes to settle the matter to his own satisfaction. It is only sensible, then, for a person to press his demands. But, at the same time, common sense requires him to know what his limits are, i.e. how far he can go without losing anything himself or sending his ‘customer’ away dissatisfied. Here we have a basic principle of life. It can be said in one word — adjustment. Adjustment or adjustability is the key to success in life, both for individuals and for nations.
We can define adjustability as taking into account the needs of others besides one’s own. In this world, success comes the way of one who is able to see both sides of a picture; to one who can look at matters from another’s point of view as well as from his own. Those who know what they want and go all out to achieve it irrespective of others’ needs, will find their path through life strewn with obstacles and pitfalls — and it will be little wonder if they come to grief.